Tuesday, 10 July 2012

End Goal

So over my last few months I have really begun to seriously think about me...  who I am, what I do and why I do it...  I have discovered something...  I am LAZY!  If there is not an attainable goal at the end of whatever I am doing, I wont do it...  here a are a few examples...  After having B I lost 72 lbs in an 18 week period...  WHY because I was in a competition where the winner would get cold hard cash...  I took second place and what happened as soon as it was over...  I started eating whatever I wanted and stopped exercising...  why?  because I wouldn't win anything...  after about a year I managed to put back on 28 lbs....  laziness....  Training..  I have trained for and ran 7 half marathons...  but once the training is over...  so is my running!  why not stick with it?  because there is nothing I am pushing towards... So, in the last month, God has started a new work...   well he was probably always doing it but I am just now allowing myself to partake...  Each day our heavenly father gives us just what we need for that day...  once this realization struck me, I was able to tap into that through prayer and being focused.  I am working toward a better me... whether I can see what I will look like, or how I will act at the end or not.  God has given me all I need for THIS day and its my job to really focus on him and partake in this gift.  Through prayer and daily Bible reading I can just feel a shift in my spirit, I am much calmer, my thoughts are orderly, my family enjoys being around me and I them, relationships have been restored, my reactions to unforeseen instances are NOT what I would expect of myself, God is again at work in a mighty way in me.  I have been able to stay on top of my fitness 6 days a week!  not only that but I am able to even manage my food intake...  loosing weight getting healthy and with no end goal other than my personal success!  there are many times that I don't want to count the calories that I am eating, or that I don't want to read my bible or that I don't want to work out, but then God just whispers, "you can do this", and I do!  I don't know that I have ever been so focused on anything quite like I am now.  there has been a shift and I do believe this shift will have ripple effects in my life for many years to come.    

1 comment:

  1. I have plenty of excuses right now for the 25 lbs I have gained and can't seem to get off. I can't seem to stay motivated either. I do good for a week, then....
    I miss having my friends in it with me. I alwasy had a buddy along side me, and that made all the difference. I haven't found that here yet, I pray that something helps me stay motivated. UGH!! Anyways, good for you girl. Keep up the good work sweetie, and glad to hear from you!! :)