Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Change of heart!

Something has happened over the last few months of 2012...  something beautiful!  

I remember when we moved to Italy, I was heart broken that Ashlynn would not be able to be in Pre-K.  She was then 4 years old and FULL of wild energy...  I was exhausted and felt defeated as a mother on a daily basis...  In about November / December I sunk into a pretty nasty depression...  I was miserable, I didnt know how to deal with my kid, this new base we were at was just hard to get used to, the language barrier was driving me crazy, and to top it off my 4 year old just never EVER slowed down...  EVER!  I remember sometime in February coming clean to one of my friends and of course my hubby that I was so sad all the time.  sad wasnt even the word for it...  just plain miserable was more like it...  I had gained nearly 30 lbs in 7 months, and everything had begun to take its toll...  

In march of 2012 Eddie and I were blessed my a friend that offered to watch our little lady so that we could take an anniversary trip to Paris..  it was 5 days of  awesome changes God was doing in my heart...  Something clicked in my brain while we were there.  when we got home I was on a MISSION to deal with Ashlynns hyperactivity naturally.  God had begun a wonderful work in my heart and I was determined to see it through.  from that moment on for over 2 weeks I poured over every document I could find about links between dye and hyperactivity...  Eddie and I decided to change our families diet in order to help our daughter.  we did just that.  I went back to the states and got Ashlynn who had been spending a few weeks with her grandparents in Texas.  (we have lived overseas her entire life so this was something she looked forward to!) when we got home Eddie went TDY for 1 month.  that gave me time to purge the house of EVERYTHING that contained dye...  I am not kidding when I say over half our pantry was gone!  for the first time ever I cooked every meal we ate from scratch.  it was not something I was accustomed to, so it was a little difficult, but I did it as I had faith that this was going to help our Ashlynn.  after about a week and a half I noticed a huge change in her behavior, by the time Eddie got home, he was blown away by the changes in her as well...  who knew FOOD had such an effect on children's behavior?!?!

through the course of our year God slowly changed my heart toward my child.  I was excited for her to go to School but not desperate for her to go.  I enjoyed having her around the house.  I thought surely when Christmas break would arrive I wouldn't be able to stand it and would want her to go back to school ASAP..  but that is 100% not the case!  I completely enjoy having her home.  she is such a sweet child.  God has completely transformed me as a mommy to my little ones.  I enjoy them so much more now.   I do not take any second for granted that I have with them.  I will say through this year I spend more time praying for changes within myself than changes with in her.  I prayed that God would allow me to see her as he does.  I have never enjoyed being a mother as much as I do now!  Children are such a blessing!  and I know at times they get on our nerves, but they are growing and learning too.  cut them some slack!  after all doesnt God cut us a lot of slack?  

Blessings to all of you in 2013!  I pray that God would allow all of you to see your children the way that God sees them!  

1 comment:

  1. love it!

    I remember praying when mine were little to be able to enjoy them - to see the joy in them -and not just the work. Being a mommy to little ones is hard - just plain exhausting at times! But so worth it! Now that mine are teens, it's still hard but in a different way. But also, so worth it! I love seeing how they are growing into adults.