our food adventure

We have been home nearly 1 week now and I am super excited to say that Ash has already started to simmer a bit!  I got an e mail a few weeks ago about this once a month cooking stuff...  so I tried it out here is a link if you would like to see it.  http://onceamonthmom.com/  (i did the April whole foods menu)
The results for my home was 20 dinners (with leftovers that will be used for lunch) and 6 Breakfasts frozen and ready for use!  here is a look at my freezer.

and the best part of all is that about 90-100% of each meal is ALL ORGANIC!  this is going to make meal time so much easier for me!  I am really looking forward to it!  I had Ash try bites (of fully cooked food) as I was cooking and she LOVED it all...

Throughout this week, I have been so taken back by the out pouring of support.  I am thankful for the articles that people send me and the meal plan suggestions, and everything really!  THANK YOU all for your support.  I am so blessed to have 2 wonderful children and an amazing husband, and all the wonderful friends God has placed in my life. God has placed some amazing people on my path, and I am am just very thankful for that.

Well, I have a very eager 5 year old who is wanted to help clean the mess I have made in the kitchen!  better take advantage of that while I can!  enjoy your day and check out that awesome website.

disappearing act

Ok, I have said today that I am going to delete my Face Book account.  I am going to, but I want to clarify my reasoning behind it as it may seem abrupt and harsh...

First let me start by explaining a little something...  I have a very lively (to put it nicely) 5 year old.  we took her in to a child psych. and she has 14 of the 18 markers of ADHD.  The Doctor was reluctant to actually diagnose her 1) because that wasn't actually what we were there for. and 2) neither Eddie or myself have been diagnosed with it and its a biological disorder so unless one of us has it, she cant have it...   the problem with this is that neither of us have ever been tested...  All this to say we have a VERY hyper possibly ADHD child on our hands and at times it can be very trying...  I often find myself so upset with her and ,to be honest I know its not her fault...

early in march Eddie and I went to Paris and while we were there something clicked in my brain about food... everything around me in paris was fresh whole food....  why cant we eat more like that I thought..  well, when we got home I started researching organic and whole food, why its good and what the benefits are...  one thing that kept catching my eye were articles about ADHD.  so I started digging in...  did you know that one of the biggest triggers for ADHD kiddos is not actually sugar?  its Dye...  and dye is in EVERYTHING...  did you know that in Europe companies such as Kraft and Pepsi are required by law to put a warning label on their products if they contain dyes?  in order to get around this they simply don't use the dyes for the products sent there...  why not just change all foods world wide?  because its too expensive and no one in the US is making them...  not that Kraft foods or Pepsi is the best for you anyways, but you get my point...  so after reading and reading and reading some more, Eddie and I decided to Focus and go Organic and whole with our foods.  I only got to try this diet on my oldest daughter for a week and a half here in the states but I can say WOW!!!  what a change!  she is a different kiddo...  now back to Face Book...

For me personally, FB is a HUGE distraction.  I tent to spend hours on there.  (my blog is all about honesty!) countless hours are waisted in my house on Fb...  This is something I have personally struggled with for a few years now.  I talk myself out of deleting it so many times because of what other people say.  If I can help someone today by being vulnerable, then why not right?  but if that help is coming at a cost of my lack of attention to my family, that's not ok...  I need to find balance, and right now for ME personally my balance is letting go of FB.  I will eventually come back I am sure.  but right now my main focus is getting my little lady's food under control.  breakfast, Lunch, Snacks and dinner...  it takes a lot of planning and a lot of preparation. EVENTUALLY, I will have it down but to begin with, I need some time to focus on this task at hand.  I need to pour myself out all over my family and not be stressed out because I am doing too much.  and often FB is something that I give a lot of my attention too.

This will not only allow me to focus on our diet change, but it will allow me some much needed quiet time with my heavenly father.  This is something I have not been as diligent as I should be.

Please understand that I am going to be around, but my main focus is my precious family that God has blessed me with.  This food stuff is not something I am naturally good at, don't get me wrong I could bake all day long, but cooking, not so much...  and because I am not naturally good at it I tend to get a little tense in the kitchen which leads to stress..

Ok so now that its all out in the open, I pray that you all understand exactly where I am coming from, I just need some time.

convicted....

So,  since arriving in Italy I have felt a stirring to share a message again that God gave me last spring about hearing from him...  well in looking through my notes from said message I was C-O-N-V-I-C-T-E-D!!!!  how have I fallen so far and not even realized it...  I was reading MY OWN TYPED WORDS (given by God) and there was so much power in them, SOOOO MUCH TRUTH, how have I let myself fall from that spot of complete submission and closeness?  WHO AM I???  No wonder I have been so incredibly stressed and agitated, no wonder I feel like i have the world on top of my shoulders, no wonder I cant get into the holiday spirit...  I am NOT and I repeat NOT  in right standing with God...  Satan is a smooth criminal...  who would have known that that message God gave me last spring would be the SAME ONE to revive me months later....  I am just a shell of the woman who wrote that.  a Shell of the woman God spoke so incredibly clearly to...  I have had little awakenings over my time here in Italy but this is like a full on FOREST FIRE!  I feel like I am FINALLY awake!  WOW....  God you REALLY REALLY work in beautiful and amazing ways!  I cant even explain this feeling, I may not even sleep tonight...  I think I will hold my own prayer concert here at home...  my LOVE for Christ and his LOVE for me has just been revived!     Repenting for my sin ( my attitude) and repent ( my action) THANK YOU AGAIN GOD for that WONDERFUL and inspiring word, and I so look forward to getting back to where we were!  OH HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!!!

break my heart

So, I have heard many times in my short christian walk (mostly in songs) this phrase "break my heart for what breaks yours"  I thought about that statement and came to the conclusion that to be more Christlike I should have my heart broken for what breaks his...  I cant keep flirting with sin even if it seems ok...  my biggest thing I struggle with is TV and what is appropriate and not...  so I prayed, GOD, BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS!   and I prayed that a LOT and I meant it...  well the moment it happened I knew it was happening, I could feel my hair standing up on the back of my neck and I was just nauseous,   but I fought it and watched the show anyways...  and the show got worse, and so did my discomfort...  this went on for about 4 episodes of this show and finally he broke me...there was one scene that I will NOT describe but just know that I had nightmares and woke up at least (not being dramatic here either) 10 times that night...  Acts 3:19 says "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord"  I finally got it through my head I must A) thank God for Breaking my heart and allowing me a glimps into his pain that we cause him, and B) I MUST repent and get right with God... I did and now anytime I start to watch anything I am VERY weary as I don't want to feel like that again!  Am I saying all TV is bad...  NO however, that is where discernment comes into play...  

Boldness...

In the last few months God has really begun to press into me this urgency for Boldness...  As he has pressed into me, he has given me opportunity after opportunity to be just that....  BOLD.  mostly with people I am just meeting for the first time.  I am a social person yes, however when it comes to putting my faith out there not know what kind of reaction I will get is TERRIFYING to me!  In these instances that he has give me both have been receptive.  I am excited to step out like this and share my faith...  he has also reminded me of my journey to him...  it wasn't pretty and it was a very long and rough road.  


when thinking about this boldness and this urge to speak when asked to...  I don't want to because I don't feel strong enough or because I don't want to look stupid...  he keeps reminding me that The holy spirit will give me all that I need when the time comes to speak...  its just my job to do as I have been asked.  why? Because God says so!  To be honest over the last year the question "why?" has pretty much disappeared from my prayers...  I don't really care why...  God asks me to do something and I am just going to move and do it...  don't get me wrong, there are many times that I don't want to do what he asks, however, I have seen him working in some HUGE ways in my life and in others and so I don't even want to question what he is doing.   you never know what that one invite to church, or that one random act of kindness, or that one little chat in the park will do for the person you are speaking to...  it took 2 very long years of one of my friends asking me every week to go to church or go to PWOC with her before I actually went and when I did...  I was finally ready to accept Christ into my heart and to change my life for the better...  This friend of mine was so bold even when she KNEW I would likely say no, she kept asking...  for 2 YEARS!  you never know where someone is at and you never know why God is prompting you to say something but if you are prompted to speak...  SPEAK!  

I should be....

EXHAUSTED....

So, in the last 9 months I have given birth to our little B.  Ran 4 Half marathons (2 were not actual races).  we have moved across the world...  again...  and I have taken on a huge responsibility with the PWOC presidency.   So, I should be EXHAUSTED with getting little sleep, I have not been exercising as I should, I have not been eating as I should...  but in all of this what I have been doing is spending a LOT of time in prayer...  God has blessed me so much by not allowing me to become weary or faint of heart.  he has held me up when I have felt like it was all just too much to carry.  he has given me great visions to show me that ITS OK to hurt and to be broken, ITS OK!  God has been so incredible to me and my family!  no my house is not perfectly clean but, I got to spend amazing prayer time with my daughter.  nope the laundry is not all done either but, I am still at peace.  God has been growing me so much here at Aviano.  its been painful but OH SO worth it!  I have never spent so much time on my knees crying out to my father as I have since we moved here, but I have also never been so incredibly blessed!  my body she be screaming but its not, my mind should be fried, but its not, my house should be a complete mess, BUT ITS NOT!  God is providing for me all over the place!   he is really showing me how to really open up to him and let him fully be in control...  I still have my moments on Wednesday mornings that I get flustered because we are late leaving the house and then lovely little attack after attack from Satan start nipping at me, but I learning to let it go and GIVE IT ALL to God!  I am so very thankful to have him on my side, otherwise I would be an utter mess right now!  THANK YOU GOD for never leaving me!  Thank you for holding me up when I was too tired and thank you for walking along side of me through all of this!  

God Sightings

I cant really put into words the feeling that I have and have had for the last week or so its almost an "awe" kind of feeling...  I am just in Awe of all the work God is doing all around me...  PWOC fall kick off was an amazing success with over 75 women showing up!  we prayed for a full ANNEX and GOD PROVIDED!!  as we kick off our Fall Bible Studies, God again provided will a full annex and MANY babies and children as well!  so many babies in fact that we had to turn some away at the door unfortunately.  As we all know in the military we can NOT go over fire codes and although they seem silly, they really are there for our safety.  Our Chaplin Adviser came in and explained that we were at max capacity for kiddos, however after he left he got us a temporary Nursery  upstairs for 10 (possibly more) babies!  Again God is providing...  God has provided for me on a more personal level as well, I struggle so badly at times with my oldest and how to parent her properly.  God has really taken the strain OUT of our relationship and healed it.  I am able to truly enjoy my amazing free spirited child for who she REALLY is and for who God made her to be!  

Sitting here writing this makes me REALLY miss the "God Sightings" portion of the Emerging service!  what an amazing way to really take a good hard look at your life and SEE where God is moving!  God is all over, he is moving and working and growing you and shaping you as we speak...  my challenge to all of you who read this is to truly look at your life and see al the amazing God sightings and SHARE them with the world!  God does not want us to keep this Love for him contained!  he wants us to really share his love with the world around us!   I am so encouraged!  God has AMAZING things planned for Aviano!  I cant wait to see what they are!